Roll with the Punches in Life

Have you ever thought, "How could it be any worse?" Some people with a brain injury have felt as if they are a kid again, as they had to relearn almost everything. Meet Bre: a BIND member, who was shot in the head at age 28.  He was always a very social person, but had to relearn how to speak, eat, and understand everyday life. 

Bre is just now starting on the road to independency and wants to help people support themselves. After his brain injury, he believes that he is more open-minded in several ways, including physically and spiritually, and he has now even returned to boxing.

Transcript

0:02

Instrumental music playing

Carrie: 0:11

Hi, I'm Carrie, a stroke survivor and a member of BIND.

Kezia: 0:15

And I'm Kezia, stroke survivor and member of BIND as well. And today we're going to have our guest, uh, who is actually a brain, uh, brain injury member of BIND too and he's super special because as soon as we met him, he was like, when am I going to be on the podcast? So we're super excited to have him. His name is Bre, and he's here to share his story. So welcome, Bre.

Bre: 0:41

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys for having me. Absolutely. Mm-Hmm?

Brian: 0:45

Welcome to BINDWAVES, the official podcast of the Brain Injury Network of Dallas. I'm Brian White, BIND's Executive Director. On each episode, we'll be providing insight into the brain injury community. We'll be talking to members and professionals regarding their stories and the important role of BIND's Clubhouse. We work as a team to inspire hope, community, and a sense of purpose to survivors, caregivers, and the public. Thank you for tuning into BINDWAVES. BINDWAVES Let's get on with the show.

Kezia: 1:17

Yeah. So just to, we kind of met you a little while ago. Mm-Hmm. Uh, but just so people know a little bit about you, uh, can you share a little bit about yourself?

Bre: 1:26

Hmm. Well, I'm Jabre. Um, I'm born and raised on the west side of Chicago. Um, I resided here in Dallas, Texas. I've been, uh, I've been here over 10 years now. And, um, I don't know too much what to say about myself.

Kezia: 1:46

There's so much! There's so much! So can you share a little bit about, um, you know, when we met you, like, why are you a member of BIND? And, like, just, like, a little tiny bit of your story.

Bre: 1:59

Okay, um, I was a innocent bystander, um, was shot in the back of the head, uptown Dallas. And, um, I'm still trying to recover since then. And I joined the BIND program to give me something to do to help me out to get better. And also meet other people like me as well. So I've been part of BIND since earlier this year. I look forward to being here until I get better.

Carrie: 2:32

That's great. We're excited that you joined us, Bre. So just tell us, I mean, we all go through different emotions and different things as we recover from our brain injury. Yours is a little bit more unique. Um, but I know you said they haven't found the shooter. You're still like up in the air with that. So how does that affect you emotionally?

Bre: 2:52

Hmm.

Carrie: 2:55

As much or as little as you want to share? Hmm.

Bre: 2:58

Yes, um, you know what, uh, I think about my situation every day, every day. Um, but, um, it's therapeutic for me to, to speak on it. Um, that's my, uh, sign of relief. My thing of coping with it is by speaking on it. Um, I was outside actually, uh, I was shot in the head, the back of the head, October 24th, 2021, uptown Dallas. Um, I was actually just having a great night out, was actually getting in my car, and, uh, as me getting in the middle, um, as me getting in my car, I was shot in the back of the head. The bullet went through the back of the brain and came out through the front. Um, I guess they was trying to pronounce that I was dead on the scene, but I was still there, I was still breathing, still there talking to God while I was being, uh. waiting on the ambulance

Kezia: 4:05

I think it's like, I think your point of view about how talking about your story and your experience is important because it is, it is therapeutic. I think that right now that you said it happened in 2021, you know, even though it's been basically about three years,

Bre: 4:25

going on three years,

Kezia: 4:26

and it feels like it's so new. And it just happened. And it's so important that you are able to share it because it definitely, like on my point of view, like on my experience, it did take about three to four years for me, like not to cry when I, and I had a, like my point of view, it's like so different. And really you're basically the first person I think I hear on the podcast and Carrie can correct me if I'm wrong. That's, um, brain injury. Um, Experience is not really due to our health, you know, like not due to your health. It's it was so surprising And

Bre: 5:04

yes,

Kezia: 5:05

I think you sharing your story is so important like you're courageous Self I had to be like, yeah, let me share this. So honestly, thank you so much for being here Carrie said if you ever feel like some limitations that's like nah, I don't want to answer that question You could totally say that but because of the brain injury that you had like do you have any limitations like anything that you know you at the moment of your recovery you couldn't do or you still are working on just because of the experience of the brain injury

Bre: 5:41

Yes Before my injury came about before I was shot in the back of the brain. I was very independent Very social and a very hard worker. Um, but due to that, um, incident there, I was 28 years old when I got shot in the back of the head. Very independent and then, um, just in the midst of being shot in the back of the head, at 28 years old, it was like I became a newborn baby again. Uh, I became very dependent. Um, I remember waking up, I couldn't talk. I couldn't walk or eat. So at the age of 28 years old, I had to learn how to talk, walk, and eat. Again. And that blew my mind. That blew my mind.

Kezia: 6:35

Yeah. I think it's so interesting because I didn't even know your age either. I was, yeah, I was 28 when I had the stroke. Okay. And I, uh, First of all, I don't think I can understand that there was something with me. I felt like it was a nightmare that was happening So I couldn't even comprehend that like I was really in the hospital. Um, but yeah, I get you that. Like, it's like you're a baby again. I mean, I went to university. I can't read. I can't talk. I can't, I can't walk. Like it's, it's, it is mind blowing. So, I get you with that.

Bre: 7:10

Oh, yeah.

Carrie: 7:10

Oh, yeah. I mean, we're all, I think that's the, that's the one common denominator that I feel like all brain injury people have is we all start over again as a baby. You know, Carl Heller teases everyone. He's like, We're the kids and the staff are the adults, you know. But all we're gonna do, you know, we all have to re learn a lot of things. We have to re learn how to walk, how to talk. Fortunately, I didn't have to re learn how to talk. I was 38. I was old compared to y'all when I had my stroke.. That's okay. But I have to, I was paralyzed. I had to re learn how to walk as well. So, I mean, if you think about it, I mean, are there still things that you're having to re learn on a daily basis? That's kind of what we've been focusing a lot on this year. How different things change after a brain injury. Even as we start to get better and we start to heal, there's still things that we have to relearn on a daily basis. So, what challenges are you still, are you done with therapy now? I know we were talking about your boxing right now, but is that your own personal way of therapy?

Bre: 8:12

Oh, um, so yes, um, I was just, I just finished my, uh, therapy with Rehab without Walls they did a great job with me. They did a very great job and I'm very appreciative for Rehab Without Walls. And I also, um, went to a therapy program called Pate. Them folks helped me as well. They did a great job. Pate. and Rehab Without Walls. I thank you guys for helping me. And, uh, they built me up to where I'm at today. Uh, there's so many, uh, struggles I have on a day to day basis. I'm still dependent due to the healing. I'm still in my healing recovery right now and I'm very much dependent still. But I work every day on trying to be independent again. And also, um, try to enjoy my youth years as much as I can while I'm still here. You know, so, um, every day, um, I have a lot of struggles. Um, But I try my best to overcome. That's all.

Carrie: 9:19

Exactly. Yes.

Kezia: 9:26

And I think, um, I hear you say dependent a lot. And I just would like to give you some encouragement. And not that you're asking for me. You could totally like, be like, nah. Um, but, It doesn't have, it's not going to be like that forever. Um, you know, like sometimes I feel like I'm very dependent of like my mom because she's Technic, not technically, I think out of like motherhood and my, my experience like my caregiver but really she's also just my mom. This is like a normal normal mom would do to everyone. Um, but like, these are skills that also a lot of people would need to learn anyway. Like I forgot my passwords for like my bank accounts. I forgot my passwords for everything and they're still hard to remember. So how do we get through with this? Like on a normal day to day life, like how do we get, back to being independent. And that's going to take a long time. Like, you know, I, it took me like five years to be able to drive. Um, and then, you know, I just always hit a bit hiccup. So like I can't be back to driving alone, um, at the moment, but it'll come back. Right. So it's just, it definitely takes a long time. Um, but right now you say you're dependent. So I'm just gonna, yeah. Change that. Like what support system do you have, you know?

Bre: 11:03

--Okay. Um, my, um, support system is my mother. Um, I thank God for all the time. Um, cause I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have my mom, especially in this type of situation I'm going through now. And I'm very thankful for, and I would like to give her a shout out why you just brought up that question. Um, I would like to thank you, mom. Thank you, Joanna Swannigan. Thank you.

Carrie: 11:30

Thank you, mom.

Kezia: 11:33

Yeah, and like, how do you, like, what's your, your strategy? Like, like I said, you're not dependent. Um, I think that there's days and there's ways that you use, not use, but like, you have the support system? Like how do you, how do you ask for help or like how, how, in what ways is she supporting you?

Bre: 11:58

Um, well, I know, um, once again, I'm very, um, not, I don't wanna say prideful, but I'm a very stand up guy, very independent man. And, uh, but tomorrow I'm still her baby, you know, um,

Kezia: 12:17

that doesn't stop to anybody. right? Right.

Bre: 12:20

So, um. Due to the injury, you know, uh, I feel like a kid all over again due to mom trying to help me recover and heal. Um, it's very difficult. It's very, very difficult for me to, uh, kind of understand that, but I'm very grateful for it. And, uh, like you said, um, I'm not dependent. Um, it's just, uh, you know, a time and a phase that I'm going through due to the injury come about, but I also know that it'll This thing, you know, will be a pass for me. Yeah, that's a phase that I'm going through.

Carrie: 12:56

I totally understand where you're coming from, because I had my stroke, like I said, at 38, and because I was paralyzed, I couldn't live alone anymore. One, paralyzed, no money, can't live alone, so I had to move home with my parents. And yes, I'm very thankful for my parents, too, and probably one of the hardest things for me to do was ask for help. Yes. I'm like you, I'm very independent, I'm very proud, prideful, and I was gonna do it all on my own. Well, guess what, Carrie? You only have one hand that works. You can't do it all on your own.

Bre: 13:26

Right.

Carrie: 13:26

But, saying, Mom, can you do this for me? Or, Dad, can you do this for me? Was one of the hardest things I had to realize. It's okay to ask for help. We all need a little bit of help. And I think that's a lot of what we try to do here at BIND is, we're here to help each other. It's not just about me at BIND. It's about all of us as a group. We're all going, we've all been there. We're all going through the same thing, so we're here to help each other through this recovery process because recovery is lifelong and we're very thankful that we have. We will be your new support group along with your mom. We're here to support you and lift you up and help you become that independent man that we know you are. Thank you. Absolutely. But, so do you think, when you're looking at it now and we're talking, do you, can you yet see any positives that have come out of this tragic event?

Bre: 14:21

Yes, um, like I like to tell people, um, I didn't know, um, what I used this term due to me being shot in the back of the head. It came all the way to the front of my eye, to the right side of my head, and caused me to be blind, and I'm on the right side of my eye. And like I tell people, um, I didn't lose an eye, I gained a third one. Um. my whole world shifted. Um, You know, with the higher spirit that I have, I can't think of nothing negative from the situation. I think nothing but positive because, um, I sit, I sit back when I get the chance and have thoughts to myself. I say, oh man, you know, um, it's like the injury caused me to be more, I don't want to say more positive, boom. More open minded than I was. I always thought I'd been open minded, but this took me to a whole other place. Um, but um, hmm, I'm sorry, I don't know how the word to correct. No, you're good. But yes, it did put me more off in a positive space. Um, actually, due to my injury, um, it caused me to lose everything that I own. And, uh, but it put me in a space to the point where I know things. Oh, I get that back. Okay, I lost this, I lost that. It'll come back again. Um, when you've been at the very bottom of your life or the worstest part of your life, it's like, what else can, you know, what can hurt me more than this here? So I think look I take things and use it as the positive because I know it's just a phase and a stage that you know things will will be greater later. And that's how I look at things to get me through my situation today

Carrie: 16:20

Yes,

Bre: 16:27

ma'am, thank you

Kezia: 16:30

so much for saying that I hope that everyone hears that as Like your change of perspective, right? Like you're just see everything's super different. Oh yes. I'm going to take a tiny little break and just remind all of our listeners that we do this every Thursday on your favorite platform to just watch, uh, or listen or both, uh, our podcast for BINDWAVES. So I loved what you were saying right now, because it's true. Like, I think that too, actually, like. How can it get any worse? Like, it's like, yeah, I don't know. I don't think it could get any worse, right? So I think that's, that's a good perspective to have. Um, And I don't know, I feel like sometimes it's like justifying what, what just happened. Like, I don't know why, I don't know what, but it happened, and it's just a hiccup. Of my life. I mean it hurt like it was really hard to get over right or not get over but be able to talk about it, but It's not gonna be forever. Yeah, and so you've had like pretty much yeah, um again you're pretty courageous to be talking about it. I mean, that's 2021 and we're in 2024 Like I would not be in I would not be you. I would still be like, I don't want to talk about it. I hate new doctors that ask me all the questions. Like, I would not be at that place. Um, but, like, currently what you're doing, it's like, out of rehabilitation. Like, what What did you learn from rehabilitation that you're currently using, um, now that you don't have the physical therapist, you don't have the speech pathologist, like you don't have, you know, occupational therapy. What did you learn from there that you are now using now on your own?

Bre: 18:26

Um, well, the programs, they did teach me so much and, uh, everything that they has taught me so far, uh, I use it in my everyday life. Mm hmm. Um. Everything. Even from the time I have to be up. Versus me just sleeping in, in the morning. I take that. As simple as something like that, I take it. Well, I know I have to be up. You know, get that in. I mean, get that in my routine as a daily habit. Um, um, them people help me out a lot. Um, so much. Yeah. I'm very thankful for them.

Kezia: 19:05

Yeah, I know Carrie said it already, but tell our listeners that you're doing, like, um, boxing. Like, what does that do for you? I'm like, it's, don't keep it a secret.

Carrie: 19:17

Okay. Tell us some of Joey Kitching so we can try to do it too.

Bre: 19:22

Well, I know, um, I know I couldn't just sit in the house forever and not do nothing. Um, it's very difficult for me to. To even learn how to walk and run, to even want to exercise. I knew that was going to be very challenging for me, but I said, man, I can't let nothing stop me. If a bullet to the head couldn't stop me, nothing else can. So I kind of took that as my mentality and, uh, got into boxing. I wanted to get into boxing just so I could stay in shape because my, um, my movement is limited. Due to my injury, um, but I just know I couldn't just sit home and just blow up. So, um, I got into boxing. Uh, when I got into boxing, they taught me how to, uh, I guess speed walk and to jogging, jogging and to running. And, um, you know, it kind of built me up. And, uh, When I got there, I kind of fell in love with it. Um, it kept a lot of weight down off of me. It, uh, it helped me out mentally and physically, of course. And, um, it just got me wanting to stay more in shape now. And, uh, the more I, uh, box, and the more I get in shape, the more focused I become, the more Hmm. The more I know that things better are about to come about. Yeah. Um, as I told you guys earlier, I went from not walking, talking or eating to now doing all those things that I couldn't do.

Carrie: 21:10

And I think what you said is very important is you need a routine. I mean, that's one thing that I learned early on too, is you can't just sit at home. So like the day neuro program that I went to, which is similar to a PATE, they wouldn't graduate us until we got a volunteer job. Um, So I had, you know, so I went from doing five days a week of therapy to two days a week of just volunteering and three days being at home. But yeah, like you, I realized there's, you need a routine because if you just sit around and do nothing, you're going to lose all that process, all that progress that you've already put into your recovery and you don't want to do that. So that kind of leads me to a question that I haven't asked and just start regular everyday talks. How did you hear about this? How did you hear about BIND?

Bre: 21:57

Um, actually, um, I actually heard from you guys, um, from my neurologist. Um, I had an appointment. I was, um, telling mom once I came home, Hey, um, I gotta find something to do. I just don't want to sit here and not do nothing. And, uh, my neurologist, she said, hey, try this program called BIND. And, uh, I was so curious and, uh, interested in doing it, uh, signed myself up and, uh, made it happen. That's great. And I'm here with you guys. Mm hmm.

Carrie: 22:34

That's awesome. Yeah, it's a great part of, I know, our routine, you know. When I first started, I came five days a week, and that got overwhelming after a while, so I don't come five days a week anymore. But I stay busy, but yeah. But that's great that you heard from a neurologist. That's a new one. I haven't heard that one yet. I thought you were going to say Pate or Rehab without Walls

Kezia: 22:53

yeah, that's awesome. And I actually really like that you're interested in coming. I think that's also good that you had your own, your own push, right? Oh, yes. And then, right now, do you have any goals for your, like, upcoming, you know, your goals, whether they're mini or big, whatever they are, like, for your future, and, like, how much you're investing in yourself. Like, do you have any goals?

Bre: 23:19

Oh yes, um, my goals overall, overall goals are just to, uh, be a better version of me than I once was before my injury. Um, just being, uh, mentally, um, physically, spiritually, just, just, um, try to be the best that I can be. That's all, that's my main goal, and overall.

Carrie: 23:47

That's great, I love it. So, I mean, you're a fairly new brain injury survivor. Um, is there anything that you'd like to share to our listeners, and our just new survivors, that you've learned for a positive, for them, for recovering, in the beginning of recovery, like, anything you want to let people know?

Bre: 24:08

Um, yes, um, for all the, um, brain injury people, and the future brain injury people coming about. Just keep going. Please don't stop. The more you keep going, the better you're going to become. Yep. Um, that's all I have to say. Just keep going. It's going to be rough. It's going to be hard. You're going to have your mental breakdowns, you know, go through your depression, your stress, but just keep going. The moment you stop, it's when it all started falling down, but you keep going, you're going to keep getting better for sure.

Carrie: 24:46

I 100 percent agree with you, Bre. That is a great mentality to have and I'm so glad you're here and I'm so glad to see your positivity. That makes me smile and makes me happy. Thank you. But we do appreciate you so much for having the courage to come on and share your story because it's not our normal brain injury story that we share. Thank you so much for being a part of our podcast.

Bre: 25:05

Thank you guys for having me. Thank you.

Kezia: 25:08

And of course, of course, not only thank you, um, thank you guys that are listening, um, but of course if you would like to contact us, uh, from BIND, uh, from BIND. and the podcast, you can always email us at bindwaves@thebind.org Follow our Instagram account, which is of course at bindwaves, uh, and visit our website, uh, which is the bind.org/bindwaves And of course, if you are interested in any of becoming either a member like Bre uh, you can always go on our website and fill out the, uh, the forms.

Carrie: 25:50

And again, don't forget to click that like button, that share button, that subscribe button, and if you're on YouTube, that notify button, and just continue listening on all your favorite platforms.

Kezia: 26:03

Like I said earlier, every Thursday you will find us in your favorite platforms, so don't miss out. Until next time!

Carrie: 26:11

Until next time!

26:12

We hope you've enjoyed listening to BIND Waves and continue to support BIND and our non profit mission. We support brain injury survivors as they reconnect into the life, the community, and their workplace. And we couldn't do that without great listeners like you. We appreciate each and every one of you. Continue watching. Until next time. Until next time.